Friday, November 7, 2008

Burger Tyme


I'm a member of secret, high society club that can trace its roots back farther than The Skulls. We are a group of professional, educated, and respected men with a strong enthusiasm for their passions. Our passions are simple, our palates are not. We love juicy, red meat. I belong to Burger Tyme.


Today I ate at Otto's Barbecue and Burgers. It is known for its BBQ, but they did put burgers in their name so they technically call themselves a burger place. Here is my review:

2 Gillies (out of 5)

Walking into a place like Otto’s makes you feel like a true Texan. The place smells of excellent food delivered in a comfortable environment. The BBQ Otto’s offers is excellent. My personal favorite is a chicken sandwich with guacamole and big eye Swiss cheese, but this is Burger Tyme. To remain neutral, I ordered a simple cheeseburger with everything on it. This “everything” includes standard burger topping fare: mayonnaise, mustard, lettuce, onion, and tomato. No ketchup. I strongly dislike ketchup on my burgers. I feel ketchup is both juvenile and offensive.

Unwrapping an Otto’s cheeseburger is like unwrapping a gift that’s almost what you wanted. You’re thankful, but left with doubt. You wonder, why couldn’t they just get it right? Right away I knew I would that this would not be my favorite cheeseburger. Their problems: a misrepresentation of beef and non-fresh toppings. The rest of the cheeseburger looked decent. The condiment variety was well spread, lettuce nicely chopped, and onion well placed, however the tomato was from last week. It was soggy like a wet gym sock.

More importantly, it is as if the meat truck driver delivered the wrong patties. Surely a place like Otto’s, known for finger licking BBQ, wouldn’t insult me with a piece of meat that looks as if it belongs to the golden arches? (I have nothing against McDonald’s, and I’m willing to give Ronald his due, but it’s like comparing a Civic to a Carrera. They both drive, but that’s where the similarities end.) The patty lacked all types of freshness, definitely a frozen meat product.

The bun is the strongst player in the Otto's burger ensemble. It was not freshly made, but it was the most fresh tasting part of the equation. The bun is the only part of the burger I would let my grandma eat.

The verdict: Otto’s is a respectable BBQ joint, but this cheeseburger was well below par. If they're trying to be a cheeseburger joint, as their name implies, they just aren’t there yet and I’m not sure it is on the right path, much less using the right map. Even a meat upgrade would barely put Otto’s into chain restaurant land.

2 comments:

Elijah Davidson said...

The picture is way past disturbing, and your society isn't so secret anymore.

Pam Palmour said...

Is this a blog or a food column? :) Seriously, you guys are hilarious and I love reading the blogs. Keep them coming. By the way, I was apparently VERY misquoted in a text conversation you had with Don. I never call food girly. I think food is gender neutral.