The Lord Has Done Great Things For Us

And we are filled with joy.

I put that verse on our Christmas card this year and it has come to my mind so often in the past year. We found out we were expecting almost exactly a year ago, and what a journey it has been. I could not be more grateful for the love and support of friends and family through this process. We have been loved so well by them. We have been showered with gifts, brought meals, encouraged with words and emails and texts and on Facebook ... Oh my.

One of the best things I have experienced through this is other moms, who I respect, that don't pretend to be parenting and living perfectly. Who don't look at me like an insane person when I'm honest about how hard this is. Who constantly check up on me and admit their own struggles. I think Facebook photos are great, and they have their place, and I love to be able to stay in touch and connected that way. But no one posts pictures of their screaming baby at 3 am, or of themselves crying at 3 am because they have a screaming baby. Or of the argument they got in with their spouse at 3 am while all this was going on. So sometimes when you are really struggling, it's easy to look at other people's Facebook lives and feel like an utter failure. And I'm so grateful for people in my life who share the messy, sometimes ugly, scary parts of life that aren't Facebook photo worthy. And yes, often when 3 am passes and it's daylight again, you can laugh at your crazy sleep- deprived self. But sometimes in those crazy moments, it makes all the difference to know there are other people with the same crazy. So for that knowledge, I'm so grateful.

Also, I can't go without saying that I absolutely would not have made it through this without Patrick. To say that he is supportive doesn't begin to do him justice. When I completely lost my cool with our 6 day old baby and had to go sit out on the back porch (in just a t shirt), he did not look at me like I was nuts. In the moments when I really didn't think I could do this, he had perfectly encouraging words every single time. When I mourned the way our marriage had changed overnight (even though it's a GOOD change, it was a hard one), he agreed with me and encouraged me and told me how important I was to him at all the right times. When I looked at him when we got home from the hospital and said 'Why did we do this again?' he did not tell me I was a terrible mom for saying that. And when I cried pretty much every day for at least 2 weeks, he hugged me and told me he thought it was hard too and that I was doing so great and that Everett was so lucky to have me as his mom. (Which in that moment may not have been completely true, but it was exactly what I needed.) :)

I think things that are really hard, even if they are things that are so good, tend to magnify what you already have. It turns out I have a solid marriage, and extremely awesome family and friends. And until this, I probably wouldn't have known how awesome.

The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. Even at 3 am. Which, you my have noticed, is when this is being posted. :)