I'm a change hater and a coffee smell lover.

I (Becky) really wish I liked coffee. I absolutely love the way it smells. Patrick is a coffee-lover, so he always gives me his to smell. I could probably go to Starubucks and sit and smell coffee for a long time.

I have been reading scripture on Bible gateway lately. I used to be somewhat against this for no apparent reason other than I am completely 100% against change of any kind, and Bible gateway scripture reading is not my traditional way of reading scripture, so it must be wrong. Apparently not. (Do you see me as a strict rule-follower? I am. I also refuse to make guesses when it comes to measuring things for cooking. Everything must be measured. Except for milk in macaroni and cheese. I don't know what it is about mac and cheese, but I'm ok with guessing.)

Anyway, today, the reference started in Hebrews 12. The first three verses of Hebrews 12 happen to be some of my absolute favorite.

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Let us run witih perseverance the race marked out for us. Hm. This reminds me of another thing I have been pondering lately. I was reading something earlier today that intrigued me. It was a discussion of how when a child obeys without being asked, it is so much more meaningful than after being told what to do a hundred times. And how similar it is with God. When we just walk forward without having to be shown the way over and over, and without the knowledge that everything is going to be ok (the way WE see "ok"), and without constant worry about whether or not a step of faith means we're going to drown. Those times of obedience are so much more meaningful than that times that we labor over whether ot not we are willing to make the decision to follow, more meaningful than the times that we question for hours if God is REALLY going to come through. And I think that obviously the ability to step out in faith comes with practice. And comes with many experiences where we believe without seeing and God prevails.

But we love to worry, don't we? We love to weigh the 'worst case scenario.' I'm sure God loves that. I'm sure he loves that we think "Well I COULD trust God with the decision of whether or not to buy a house and quit worrying about it, but what if that means we totally miss this great opportunity in the market and we miss the great interest rates and we wind up not being able to afford anything because we waited too long and prices went up and now we have to rent until ETERNITY and our children will never have a home or we will have to buy cheap and wind up in a neighborhood that's not a good investment in the long run and therefore we are wasting our money!' Now that's faith, right? How much more meaningful would it be if, immediately upon being faced with the decision of whether to extend our lease, I said "God will take care of this and it will turn out exactly how it's supposed to. We will pray about it and be at peace with a decision." Phew. And how much less stressed I would personally be.

Speaking of wasting "our" money, our pastor has been doing a wonderful financial series lately about "our money" not ever being "ours" anyway. I am not at all a spender. It physically hurts me to spend large amounts of money. Don't get me wrong... I don't have problems with giving money. I love to give. I mostly love to give presents, but I am also very content to give money. We are so very very grateful to be able to give money to our church and several other ministries that we believe in. But I think that I would worry less (do you see a trend here?) about money if I remembered more often that it wasn't my money to begin with. If we gave every penny we had to our church, the rent would somehow get paid. We would still eat and drink. The jars of oil would overflow, and we would be content. I don't know exactly how it would work out, but we would be taken care of. God has actually made some financial decisions without us already up to this point. We have tried to go one direction... he shut the door in our faces... and his door had WAY better things behind it. More of that to come.

Would you think I was a weirdo if I said that I would like to sit in Starbucks, drink vanilla chai (actually I prefer the brownie frappuccino but they don't make those anymore for some ridiculous reason and they keep me up all night no matter what time of day I drink them) and blog for a living? Weirdo or not, I'd take it.

Sorry for the major amount of rambling I have been doing lately. But I love you all.